Have you tried to diet several times before? 

Did you successfully manage to lose weight but now it is creeping back on? 

Are you fed up of feeling uncomfortable and unhappy with how you look and feel?

If this sounds familiar  then you’ve got a choice. You can either continue yo-yo dieting for the rest of your life or you can take the time to work on your mind as well as your body.

Why do we do it to ourselves?   

Self sabotage and being ‘all or nothing’ are two things I see all the time. You are either being super focused and ‘on it’ or you are on a slippery slope downwards…there is no in between.

‘All or nothing’

This is probably the one most people can relate to. We start a diet, feel amazingly proud of ourselves and begin to notice a difference. Then a weekend/ holiday/ party/ meal out comes along and all our good intentions go out the window. To make ourselves feel better we decide that it’s ok, we’ll just start afresh tomorrow or after the weekend.

Why is it so dangerous?

Deciding not to worry and start again the next day is like giving yourself permission to go all out. Suddenly it’s like you just as well eat and drink everything in sight because it’s your one day/night/weekend off. Quite often this binge lasts longer than you think as well because the aftermath lasts into the next day or beyond. Being hungover in particular, is a recipe for disaster. Your body will crave stodgy carbs, sugar and junk food and when you feel rubbish, it’s easy to give in.

Basically to maintain your weight, you need to be healthy and on track 80% of the time with 20% of the time to be a bit more relaxed. If you want to lose weight, really you need to aim for 90% of the time. If you are good during the week but let it all go at the weekend then you’ll be undoing all your hard work. You definitely won’t lose any weight and you’ll probably see it creeping back on.

What to do about it?

Everyone has triggers and times that will throw them off course. Sit down and have a think about what your triggers/ danger times are. Meals out with friends? Weekends in general? Holidays? Everyone is different but working out what your downfall is means you can put some strategies in place. Don’t try to avoid the situation (because that is no way to live and again contributes to the ‘all or nothing’ mentality), instead work out how you can manage them.

You don’t want to miss out completely but you also don’t want to go overboard and undo all your hard work. It’s all about balance and it is hard to get it right. Be patient with yourself. Don’t waste time feeling guilty if you don’t always manage it, just focus on making small changes each time. Little improvements add up to a lot over time.

Self sabotage

Things can all be going really well and you are seeing results and feeling good. All of a sudden (and often for no particular reason) you take your foot off the gas, stop exercising and start to indulge in some seriously calorific treats. Before you know it, all thoughts of being healthy have gone out the window and you find it impossible to regain that motivation. Things slide and can continue to slide for a long time until something jolts you out of it. Then the cycle starts again.

Why is it so dangerous?

For me, this one is a trickier to deal with than being ‘all or nothing’ because it suggests there are deeper emotional triggers at work. You know exactly what you need to do to lose weight and feel good because you’ve done it before yet you almost deliberately do the opposite. Why?

To be honest, there is no easy answer to this. Everyone has different reasons for self sabotage. However,  low self esteem/confidence and the fear of failure definitely contributes. It’s hard to sum up but the internal conversation (even if you aren’t aware of it at the time) tends to be along the lines of: ‘I’ve failed before so I’m going to fail again…might as well speed up the process and fail now rather than trying too hard and then failing’.

What to do about it?

Working on your mind is the only way to break the cycle. Start to look at what you want to achieve and why. For those that have a tendency towards self sabotage, goals that relate to weight loss for aesthetic reasons aren’t enough. Happiness does not lie with a size 10 body. If you suffer from low self esteem, losing weight will be a temporary boost but not tackle the underlying problem. All that will happen is you start to fixate on something else.

Instead, look to the bigger picture. Come up with goals that are linked to happiness and fulfilment. Eat healthily to gain energy, work on your fitness so your stamina increases and you can play football in the park with your children or do a trek in the mountains. Think of things that excite you. Everyone is different but take the onus off losing pounds for the sake of being skinny and think about it in terms of what your health will allow you to do and achieve.

Be kind to yourself

None of this is easy. Working on your mind as well as your body takes time and patience. It isn’t something that will be solved overnight. Part of the reason I designed my 8 week Kickstart programme was because I wanted to create something that helped tackle ALL areas of health and fitness – mind, body and soul. Everything is interlinked and if you truly want to become happy in the way you look and feel, you NEED to get your mind on board.

Every day in my 8 week programme, you get an article of the day to read. Sometimes it focuses on food or exercise but a lot of the articles think about mental health as well as physical. Stress, confidence, happiness – the impact they have on your body can never be underestimated.

Whilst I don’t have all the answers, just thinking about these things and being aware of them can help you achieve your goals. Plus, I am here for you. Support is everything. You don’t have to do this on your own.

If you’d like some more information, head over to my Kickstart page by clicking HERE. Or, feel free to get in touch for a chat – just email me on lorna@alittlemorefabulous.co.uk. I’ll try to get back to you as quickly as possible.

This time, make it different. No more diets – look forward to a healthy, happy future!